methinks

i am ready to go home

adieu london

i must admit, there is a palpable chasm between my supposed travelling credentials and how i actually go about my travelling - that is, it does feel sometimes like a level 12 mage still employing Sleep/Web/Burning Hands (D&D 3.5) as a mainstay of his portfolio. whilst it is still inherently exciting (amazing how far Burning Hands can bring you), i do think it is high time to upgrade to, say, Melf's Acid Arrow, if only not to look so incredibly noob to the rather condescending french (surprise surprise) customs officer.

lesson #1: convince my thick skull that overpacking + paradropping mapless into foreign land is a bad, bad (and shoulder-busting) combo.

lesson #2: stay away from marathon combos e.g. tube - eurostar - RER - slug it out on inviting airport floor - flight - navigate from arlanda to stockholm central - topo to hotel.

lesson #3: look like you belong i.e. act like the laojiao that you are - only uncles and aunties at home still lap up the innocent well-mannered boy thing (and even then i am probably dangerously close to breaching the age-limit for that).

anyway - phase 1 of the adventure draws to a close; london was great as usual though fell short of expectations instilled by a too-cool-to-beat first time in 2007, largely due to shortage of time to simply chill and take it all in. the irony/contradiction is that despite the above, it does feel like i've been away from home forever - at least, manifold the 1 week that it has actually been - and i mean this in a good way. still, too short as it may have been, it was a good break - and now it's time for phase 2 in stockholm. i'm still trying to recover that feeling of commitment and pure fervour for the job that i once had in CS, which bolstered the way in which i came across to colleagues and peers - UBS days in contrast were perennially tinged with the feeling that i was just an imposter, a feeling that unfortunately seemed to have followed me to the new place. despite the rather worrisome tarot reading i am very keen to make it work - but like singing, having decent technique and really feeling for the song is a rather different business altogether. i hope this trip can jumpstart the latter that little bit.

ok time to fly - hello stockholm!

aloha europa

thanks to rubbish comp at t1 c15, have to do it on the plane. mad rush entire day till this moment, only starting to sink in, that this is the start of a great adventure. thanks to all the wellwishes, and the forces that have conspired to make this possible. lots to say but a little distracted by the possibility of me having to spend tmr night in the park in paris (and also by the barefoot dude next to me) - will update again if and when i make it to london - wish me luck!

green room

画面里，我们站在厅外，等着入席。依稀听得到门后喧哗着的来宾，显得门外的我们格外的安静。有点 Cirque du Soleil - 空中飞人等着进场的感觉。

"我很紧张。" 你转头说道。

"我也是。" 望着你，牵起了你微颤的手。你礼服很漂亮，但我已记不清；烙在回忆的，是你稍蹙的秀眉，剔透的双眼，小憋的双唇，你那我可以永远凝望着的脸蛋。眼神交递瞬间，随着暖流缓缓散播全身，顿时也对这古老仪式背后的奥妙，有了新的启发 - 所有的形式和准备和附件所推向的高潮，并不在於待会儿台上的表现，而是浓缩在这门外只属於你我的数秒。我轻轻挤了挤你的手；彼此笑了。紧张犹在，但多了份沉着与肯定，且无比坚定的信念。

"。。。欢迎他们入席!"

"Ready?"

你点了点头。

我伸起了右手，打开白色的大门；踏入欢呼声中，踏入我们两人的未来。