would fly away, but for fear of heights

i feel like running away to some obscure corner of the world, living by myself where no one knows me, maybe help some less fortunate ppl so that they do not grow into someone like me. and if things don't turn out right, i'll just kill myself there, in a place where no one will ever know, or mourn. i almost want to say that i won't do all these because i still need to take care of my parents, until i concede that my own cowardice is a more plausible reason.